


you're the luigi to my luigi

by angstyluigi



Category: 21p - Fandom, Fairly Odd Parents - Fandom, Gorillaz, Smash Bros - Fandom, Super Mario, Super Mario Brothers - Fandom, Super Smash Brothers, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-10-28 13:13:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10831992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angstyluigi/pseuds/angstyluigi
Summary: luigi is in love with a man called luigi but the problem? he is NOT GAY





	1. Chapter 1

hi my name is luigi and i have a problem. i am in love with a man named luigi but i am not gay!1!! it all started when i was a young boy (but my father did not take me into the city D:) and i met a v v beautiful boy named luigi and brother mario said that we should not be together but what does he know that’s right nothing!  
the thing about this magnificently majestic boy is that i only see him when i look into the mirror and then i am happy but he is not me he is luigi, my soulmate. my ugly and stupid brother mario says that i am just lonely but he is stupid and does not understand our relationship.  
then one night i was sick and tired of only seeing him in the mirror so i held a ritual and stood in front of the mirror chanting “luigi luigi luigi” blah blah blah you get it you know. then suddenly the most beautiful creature i have ever seen jumped out of the mirror with a blinding light it was luigi!!1!  
“luigi my one true love”! i exclaimed.  
luigi flipped his dark majestic mustache. “ugh i’m so tired from being trapped in that GODDAMN mirror for so long ugh”  
my eyes widened. who was this smexxy boy and why was he so mysterious and dark????/  
luigi looked at me with a hunger in his dark and brooding eyes and i felt v v intimidated by him  
he took a mysterious step towards me mysteriously.  
“l-luigi? w-w-what are y-you doing?”  
luigi chuckled darkly and took off his glorious green head accessory  
i stared at his shiny hair and felt myself turn bright red as my breath hitched.  
“like what you see?”  
i nodded timidly, undeniably aroused.]  
luigi took a large stride towards me and looked into my eyes.  
“luigi” he growled.  
“luigi” i growled back shyly.  
he did not want to me growl at him i could tell and i knew i had made a mistake. it reminded me of my evil father, bowser, who always growled and never said anything else.  
i felt a single tear fall down my shy face.  
suddenly luigi seemed to realize that i was having flashbacks and he gently caressed the side of my face. he slowly leaned in, but at the last second bowed his head.  
“are you ok if we do this and by that i mean ‘go further’ you know what i mean ;)” he said seductively.  
“yes because you v beautiful and hot and stuff but plz remember i am not gay” i replied.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things get hot and Spicy and then a sad day because of stupid and Ugly mario

chapter dos:

luigi brought his gloved hand down my chest and very softly caressed by quivering body. “l-l-luigi” i stuttered nervously.  
“shshhshhhh,” luigi murmured sensually.  
he began to unbutton my overalls and i felt exposed wearing only my green shirt but that also was not on for very long. luigi began to remove his overalls as well and soon we were both NAKEY.  
“oh wow mama mia” i said loudly and before i knew it things were escalating. luigi admired my bootay, even though his was identical. i longingly stared his nakey front area (wink wonk ;D) and he noticed my staring. “like-a what-a you see-a?” luigi winked suggestively and i felt my heart skip a beat because of this beautiful man (no homo tho)  
i expressed my contemplation. “ya but not in a gay way though”  
luigi nodded in agreement.  
“i also am NOT GAY so i agree that you have very nice bootay in a non-homo way” luigi stated i blushed like an anime school girl at that comment.  
soon before i knew it his you-know-what (ding dong) was in my you-know-what (bootay)!1!!  
“mama mia!” i moaned. luigi pulled out and looked down at me while we both panted because that was some good secks.  
“i just did a secks with someone identical to me. i thimk that cancels out the Gay.” i said shyly in a shy way.  
“yes neither of us are gay so it does not count,” luigi said and i agreed we are NOT GAY so it does not count when we do stuff We are just bros doing bro things.  
i laid down in bed and the blankets were warm on my nakey body and then luigi laid down too and we fell asleep but then we woke up and it was morning!  
“oh no, i forgot!!!!!!!! i have to see my ugly stupid brother MARIO today and his pretty but really stupid wife peach and their ten point four kids today Come with me luigi or i will be bored” i said to my no homo lover.  
“ok i will come because i think mario is annoying and you should not deal with him and his 10.4 mustachioed kids all alone” luigi replied.  
“thank you you are such a nice (and beautiful) man”  
soon we were at mario’s castle and my growly father BOWSER was there too!!!!! i gulped and luigi held my hand and we walked into the castle and ignored the screaming of mario’s 10.4 children.  
“luigi what-a are-a you-a doing?????” mario asked skeptically and looked at my hands joined with luigi’s.  
“this is my NOT GAY lover and i don’t need you to judge me just because you are rich and famous and live in a castle with your happily married wife and 10.4 kids because luigi and i are Happy” i yelled.  
“there is no one there you dumb green rip-off version of me” mario snapped.  
i began to tear up and ran out of the Stupid castle and my father BOWSER yelled at me to come back because all he does is YELL. luigi ran after me and we ran all the way to my house which is in an undisclosed location (not the mansion because the mansion is Not Good) and luigi hugged me.  
“thank you for going with me even though we were not there for long because mario is Stupid and Ugly and does not understand our relationship” i sniffled.  
our relationship is a Perfect one but there is a problem because people don’t seem to understand that we are Not Gay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> plz comment friend and i love reading comments


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the luigis just want to go on a date but everything is bad when they run into luigi's ex!!1!

the next day was sunny and bright but i was the opposite because that Ugly and stupid mario put me in a bad mood but luigi did not want me to be in a bad mood so we decided to head out.  
“why don’t we go out and do whatever it is that couples do?” luigi suggested  
i agreed because i wanted to show off my beautiful.. whatever he was to me because who wouldn’t!!!! if you had a boyfriend like luigi (which you don’t because there is no one else like him except ME and he is MINE) you would want to show him off too.  
we made our way downtown to the park and when we got there i was Shocked!!1! it was my ex…. WALUIGI!!1!!1   
“wah t are you doing here, wah?”  
“i’m here on a date with my new and Improved boyfren ( no homo) called luigi who is much more handsomer than you” i replied sassily.   
“luigi?? wah! where is he then!?!?” waluigi said Stupidly because that’s what he is.  
“he is right you here you stupid meatball!1!!” i shouted at him but he probably couldn’t hear through his thick skull.  
waluigi the dumb idiot’s fat greasy MUSTACHE started trembling slightly, though that might have been the wind.  
“and your mustache is a disgrace to me and everyone that has a mustache in this franchise but not mario because he Ugly and stupid” i told waluigi matter of factly.   
luigi, who was still standing next to me punched waluigi but waluigi did not move!!1! What kind of sorcery!!  
“wah!!! how dare you luigi, you have Disgraced my kind! wah!!!!!!!!!!” waluigi screeched.  
“y-your kind?” i stuttered.  
“Yes!!! wah!!! i am not like you luigis, for i am a WITCH, wah,” waluigi bellowed, growing bigger and bigger by the second, his mustache glowing with rage.  
luigi yelled at me to run because waluigi began to catch fire and that is concerning but i was frozen to the spot in fear.  
waluigi muttered something in a foreign tongue but it was too quiet and foreign to make out.  
“WAH!!!!!!! I HAVE CURSED YOU LUIGI(S)!!!!1!!!!!!!!!” waluigi screamed in a spoopy voice.  
luigi grabbed my arm and we left that park and ran back to my home and i began to quiver in fear.  
“what if he really is a witch and cursed us? the guy’s mustache was glowing for toad’s sake” i said very scaredly. this was really doing me a frighten.  
“he was probably just trying to spook us my little meatball” luigi said calmy but his voice had an undertone of scare.  
i nodded uncertainly and shyly.  
“if we really were cursed which we aren’t then we can make it through this as we have been in a strong and faithful relationship for almost 3 days now we can make it through anything” luigi said and i felt better knowing that he was by my side. we can make it through this dumb curse and be in a good relationship as long as we aren’t gay.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the boys have been cursed and special guests come over

chapter quattro

the next day i discovered that luigi and also me had a problemo!! suddenly our mustaches were growing super fast!!! TOO FAST!!! too fast to handle!!! they were already down to our waists!!!  
“mama mia!!” luigi exclaimed “we have been a-cursed!!”  
luigi grabbed a pair of mustache trimmers and tried to chop off our magical mustaches, to no avail.   
“will they ever stop growing??? what if i become luigi rapunzel?? that can’t happen!!!” i began to tear up.   
“mama mia oh my meatball-a!” luigi cried out again.  
our sadness was interrupted when we heard a knock on the door.   
luigi stuffed his overgrown mustache into his overalls and answered the door. it was murdoc niccals and 2D from gorillaz!!!!!!!!!!  
murdoc grunted and looked at luigi.   
“what is up with your mustaches??? they’re normally on fleek but something feels wrong today…” murdoc questioned suspiciously.   
“oi murdoc just leave them alone” 2d said quietly in his barely understandable british voice.  
murdoc looked at 2d, looking like he was considering putting him in a cannon and shooting him all the way to nebraska. instead he grunted again. poor 2d does not deserve this abuse.  
luigi told them that he would explain the mustaches if they didn’t tell ANYONE, not even the rest of the band, and the gorillaz agreed and so luigi explained that we were cursed by a wicked witch known as.. Waluigi!!!! murdoc and 2d were shocked at the information.   
“waluigi…. he.. used to be in gorillaz. in fact i used to date him many years ago when gorillaz was a baby band!!” murdoc told us.   
“mama mia!!!!!!” i shouted!!! “i used to date him too before i met luigi my soulmate!!!!”  
suddenly murdoc and i had formed a new bond, one that would tie our souls together for many years to come!!! but not romantically because i belong with my un-gay very Straight lover, luigi.


	5. Chapter 5

chapter foive

as i was staring into murdoc’s eyes, feeling as though i had known him for many moons, i felt 2D stared in dismay that murdoc was having a “bond” with me.  
i jerked away, not looking into his eyes, then panicked and hid behind luigi (aka: my not gay lover)   
as my mustache kept growing a little mushroom man popped out. i screeched, “LUIGI!! a creature just popped out of my mustache!!”  
and so my lover (not gay) ran off to grab a pan from the kitchen. he came running back screaming “NOT TODAY SATAN!!!” as he was running around trying to kill that wittle creature, murdoc and 2D slowly and carefully left the room.  
suddenly, luigi stepped on his long and bootyfull mustache and tripped. ANOTHER creature had plopped out of luigis mustache!!!  
i went to grab my golden iphone 7 with 64 gigabytes. (not to brag or anything)  
and called 911. as i was waiting for a 911 operator to pick up, my ugly, stupid brother mario picked up. “stupid ugly brother?” i asked curiously, recognizing his atrocious voice from anywhere.  
i sat there for 5 minutes in complete silence, until...  
“LUIGI?!”   
i would’ve rather DIED with these little creatures in my beard than talk to this stupid ugly brother of mine who is a 911 operator somehow. i hung up.  
more and more little mushroom men came out of mine and luigi’s mustache. i thought of the most amazing thing!  
“hey luigi!” i said “there’s not mushROOM up in here!” :D  
i sat there waiting for a laugh to exit his mouth but nope! tough crowd….  
but then suddenly, POOF!!  
cosmo and wanda showed up!! “where’s timmy??” i asked immediately   
they look at each other and looked back at me and said “he doesn’t believe in fairies anymore…”  
i sat there shook and stunned! i asked them if there is a way you can help me and luigi.  
cosmo then added “i didn’t know you were gay!! you finally left the closet!!”  
then, my lover luigi explained. “we’re not gay, we’re straight, we’re just soulmates!” (see, there’s no homo in that sentence at all) cosmo and wanda just stared at each other in confusion. i interrupted their little staring contest and asked one more time, “is there any way you can fix me and my lovers mustache?!?!?”   
they said yes, but they would have to find the sacred book of mustaches!!  
i asked, “can me and luigi help?”  
they said yes, so we packed up everything and started our amazing mustache adventure!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a double upload because i haven't posted in a while sorry

Chapter: Swix

as we were walking down the street, a large, black, professional looking vehicle sped past us, and out jumped twenty one pilots (not 21 pilots smh fake fans)!!1! jonch dun swished his urine-esque, ironically sunny (he is not sunny he is dark and mysterious and meaningful and deep) hair. taylor jonseph groaned slightly, and then broke out into some depressing and very Deep poetry. it brought us all to tears, including the apathetic murdoc who is back now btw. tiller nodded his head and said, “thanks love my clique stay alive |-/” “how did you speak your logo, this is a spoken conversation?” i asked.

tyrannizing josethp just nodded his head angstily, muttering “stay street” and “love the clique” under his breath.  
luigi asked tyrannosaurus “what is the clique?” and jester dropped his drumset at that question (he was holding it the whole time btw)  
typewriter took a deep breath and put on his circular sunglasses. “the clique is a strong group of misfits and deep people across the globe with hearts of gold and souls that are pitch black, like my hands in most of the videos. the clique is always there for each other and will never stop trying to overcome the darkness within not only their lives, but themselves as well.”  
“it’s our fan base” said jibberish from the back, who was carrying his drums again.  
“so typical.. do you know where to find the sacred book of mustaches???” luigi questioned.  
typo looked shocked for a moment before covering his eyes with his red beanie and said “i may not know.. but i know who knows… his name is…,.. brandon urine!” jab gasped at the mention of this name!!  
“he lives on top of a mystical mountain in a very isolated location.. i can give you directions but it will require much strength and personal cleansing in order to find him and gain some of his wisdom” tyrant said in a majestic way.   
typhoon gave us many complicated directions but luigi has an excellent memory so it’s ok. “and when you do meet brandon he will only let you make one wish so choose it wisely” tyke warned us. we thanked the emo duo, feeling as though we had infinite deepness and knowledge on existentialism. “thank you john and tyles, goodbye for now,” i said.

**Author's Note:**

> thank for reading i and friend worked v v hard on this


End file.
